Wellbeing with Yasmin · Articles
What Kind of Routine Helps When My Old Structure No Longer Fits?
When life changes, the shape of our days may need to change too. Here is how I found a rhythm with room for work, care and the unexpected.
When I worked as a teacher, and later as a governess, much of my day had a structure already. I knew when I needed to be with students. The rest of life fitted around those responsibilities, before and after the working day.
I was used to following a timetable. I also knew what it was like to plan my own weeks so rigidly that there was little room for anything to change. When I could not get everything done, I would turn that frustration on myself. I was not quick enough, efficient enough or organised enough.
Then I started working for myself and went to the other extreme. Because I no longer had to follow somebody else’s rules, I did not really follow any. I would float from one thing to another. If something got done, it got done.
As caring responsibilities became part of my life, those naturally took precedence. Business tasks stretched over days. I had ideas and plans, but some of the essential work stayed unfinished. I would find myself rushing at the last minute, feeling anxious and overwhelmed.
Neither extreme served me. What has helped is giving my week a structure I can work with and adjust as life happens.
Putting my big rocks in first
I began putting things in my calendar that I had never thought needed to be there: sleep, meals, prayer and exercise.
These are what I think of as my big rocks. They go in first because they matter to how I live and how I look after myself. Work then needs a place alongside them.
Prayer is a particular anchor for me. It grounds me, and I find it meditative. Knowing that time is there helps me arrange other things around it. Your anchors may look different. What matters is choosing the things that support you in the life you actually have.
Mealtimes are a more recent addition to my calendar. I had not given them that place before. Once I did, it became easier to see where a working block could fit and where I needed a break.
I also make room for family contact and aim for at least one good working block each day. That gives an important task a place to begin, whether it is an article, a video or another piece of work that needs my attention.
There is still more to do. There always seems to be more. But I am getting more of the essential work done, and I feel less of that last-minute pressure.
A calendar with room for life
Putting something in my calendar does not mean every minute around it has to be fixed.
I leave room around time with family. If lunch goes beyond the half-hour I had allowed, I do not want to spend the rest of it worrying about the clock. I want to be present with the people I am with.
Exercise has flexibility too. I can give it a place in my week while leaving open whether I go to the gym, take a Pilates class or go for a walk. Some planning blocks stay open so I can use them for what needs attention.
I have also changed how I respond to requests. I used to say yes to a lot of things. Now I can say, “Let me consult my calendar,” or, “Let me look in my diary.”
That pause gives me a chance to see what I already have room for before I agree to something else.
On days when I have less to give
Some days, my time or energy is lower. I try to identify the essential job for that day and let the non-essential things wait. I take breaks and make room to rest.
For me, that may mean making sure I have a proper meal or lying down for a short nap when I am tired. I have learned that pushing myself to do more on those days does not serve me.
A lighter day needs a lighter plan. I can look at what matters most today, what can move and what I need before I ask more of myself.
Finding my way back
Sometimes life interrupts my plans, and sometimes it takes me a while to find my way back.
A change of surroundings helps me take stock. It might be a walk, or sitting in a coffee shop with a journal. Occasionally it is a night or a weekend away. That space helps me think about what has happened and how I want to move forward.
I can then look at my calendar again and consider what needs to change. Do I need more space? A different boundary? Fewer commitments for a while?
If you are in an in-between stage yourself, you might begin with your own big rocks. Which few things would you like to make room for this week? Put those in first, try living with that shape, and notice what needs adjusting. You can add other things gradually as you discover what fits.
For a long time, I thought using a calendar would leave me feeling dictated to. My experience now is that it gives me freedom. When something has a place, I am less occupied with trying to remember when I will do it. I find it easier to give my attention to the work, the conversation or the prayer in front of me.
A week does not need to be full to have shape. Mine works better when it holds what matters and still leaves room for life.
If you would like space to think through a rhythm that fits your life now, you are welcome to book a Virtual Tea. It is a first conversation about where you are and whether coaching might be useful, with no obligation to continue.